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the lists ive made in recovery are more than just words on paper; they are a doorway into truth, a startin place for healin the broken and damaged parts of my life. for so long, i had carried around confusion, shame, and a restless spirit, not knowin how to untangle the knots i had tied...
there remain within me certain aspects of self that i do not admire, persistent traits and tendencies that demand continual vigilance and inner work. through the process of recovery, i have learned to entrust these shortcomins to my HP; yet, despite this surrender, they at times resurface. their recurrence does not signify failure but rather...
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i still find myself, at times, haunted by the fears from the days of doin my dirt. it is not that i sit and dwell on them, but certain moments today awaken memories of the chaos and harm from then. these memories can still cause me to shudder deep within. recovery has taught me to...
through lived experience, i have come to understand that self-knowledge and willpower, no matter how earnestly applied, are insufficient to arrest the chaos of my life. in the absence of recovery, i exist in a profoundly unwell state, emotionally, psychologically, behaviorally, and spiritually. the twelve steps have revealed to me that the only endurin solution...
in the days of doin my dirt, i clung to a deceptive refrain: “man, i aint hurtin nobody but me.” i carried that belief into the early days of my recovery, convinced it was an honest self-assessment. from my drunken and distorted vantage point, a few arguments with my wife seemed inconsequential, and life felt...
i can recall resistin the acceptance that my actions, whether intentional or not, had harmed others. my selfishness blinded me to the impact of my words and behavior; at the time, it felt like just livin life. often, i only recognized the harm later, in the reactions of those i had harmed. years of chasin...