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its always been one of the hardest things for me to do, accept self. without this seemingly simple exercise, i am unable to see beyond me, my circumstances, or out toward others. when i am bound to unacceptance of self, nothin stands a chance of gainin it. it seemed i always turned my unacceptance of...

if there is only one thing in my recovery, i have done perfectly it is the admission to others, my HP, and most importantly, self, that i am an alcoholic, powerless over the certain unmanageability it causes within my life. what makes me successful in this admission is the fact that i havent taken one...

even if i was to say i struggled with the idea of understandin that i was an alcoholic way before i entered the rooms, and even after i had, i didnt fully understand until i went through “more about alcoholism” in the big book with my sponsor. obviously before i came into the rooms i...

i dont know today what the exact act of Providence caused me to make the final act of desperation and honestly reach out for help was. maybe it was a culmination of things, loss of relationships, loss of employment, loss of home, loss of dignity, idk. what i can recall is bein so defiant while...

https://youtu.be/YiDpIaXQDrI So… babe came in to interrupt this blog post too, because I was yelling at my computer screen, which was glitching. Babe is concerned about males in the rooms getting too friendly with me. Because I told babe the other day that if this relationship ended, I was holding a space to figure out...

comin into recovery i didnt know i was powerless over alcohol. i mean, i knew i created a shit storm every time i drank in those last days of doin my dirt, but i didnt know that powerlessness over alcohol was a problem. i just thought i couldnt drink like i used to; with some...

i tried everythin i could to beat my alcoholism while i was out doin my dirt and none of it was with a half measure. i worked every angle, every nook and cranny, to death, to find a way to continue to drink like i wanted to. with that in mind, rememberin all those attempts,...

i remember what utter defeat and powerlessness felt like. i didnt know at the time that it was to bring liberation and strength. at the time i only knew it made the loneliness i felt, hurt more. to live unmanageability is one thing, but to stop, rest for a min, and take an honest look...

total honesty helped me gain total acceptance. there was a time when i thought i couldnt live without a drink or a drug. i didnt think life would be fun or offer any adventure. how could a life sober provide me with the happiness i craved? i can recall the loneliness that helped me to...

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