i aint even gonna try to redefine the word harm. this mornins daily does a mighty fine job of definin it, i cant add any more. what i can do is tell of the ways in which i caused collisions in the relationships i had while out doin my dirt. how i harmed others. things...
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back in the days of doin my dirt i can recollect tellin myself how i hadnt hurt my family because i always made sure the essential bills at home were paid and current. i can also recall tellin myself that i worked hard while at work, tryin to set the next person up for success....
i could not go into this process of acceptin what i had felt i had done to harm others with selfish motives. while out there doin my dirt, many times i didnt initially set out to harm another; i didnt know, or understand, i was actin selfishly or with self-centered motives, i was just livin...
the best way i conceive to continue to receive the gifts ive gotten, freedom, subsided regrets, a found serenity, value in my experience, the disappearance of self-pity, an interest of others, altruism, a better outlook, lessened fear, an ability to cope, growin spirituality, and the evolution of many more promises through the practice of their...
i would have been a fool to just run out and start makin amends without plannin em, learnin to say em rightly, and doin em all willy nilly, joel style, without my sponsors guidance. what a self-set-up for utter failure! now, before i had gotten too far into recovery, that was my plan. i thought...
SOMETIMES, LIKE TODAY. I HAVE TO TAKE A STEP BACK AND REMEMEBER TO BREATHE AS I TELL MYSELF THIS 2 SHALL PASS. THIS WEEK HAS BEEN A LITTLE CRAZY AND LIFE HAS THROWN SOME EXPENSES MY WAY. BUT, THIS TIME INSTEAD OF MOANING AND GROANING I AM USING IT AS A LEARNING EXPERIENCE AND HOPEFULLY...
in this step, i learned how to remove myself from playin the victim role. and yes, it had the effect of diggin into my skin with a dull knife point to reach the deeply penetrated ground glass of emotion i didnt ever want to feel. my initial personal moral inventory revealed a lot about how...
i needed to try to keep my 8th step as simple, yet as thorough, as i could. i couldnt try to keep someone off it that i had written down in my 4th step inventory. my sponsor had warned me of makin a list so large it would become too overwhelmin for me to comprehend....
one of the people i had left off my initial list of the persons i had harmed was myself. i didnt feel at the time that i deserved any kind of amends to myself, even though i was the one who had harmed me the most. i simply thought it others whom id owed amends...
my 8th step list of people i had harmed was where i got to see, in black & white, just how my behavior and character had affected those around me. i needed the help of my sponsor and trusted friends in recovery to help me make this list. i didnt want to, or try to,...