are ya fuckin kiddin me? i gotta give up the way i think, the way i behave, the way i live, the very shit that helped me survive so, ehem, elegantly throughout my life? these are the thoughts i had before i came into the rooms. they were even maintained for a short time into...
it was easy to deflect personal responsibility back in the days of doin my dirt while ridin da ol blame train. 1st class tickets were readily available. how easy it still may be to jump aboard, lookin at the ones who perceivably wrong me so i aint gotta look at myself. recovery has taught me,...
emotional, psychological, behavioral, and spiritual growth are each areas in my life i needed to cultivate when i came into recovery. the development of each was necessary because i had stunted each through my alcoholism. these areas are also permanent parts of my character i cannot ever let loose of or get rid of. they...
i remember what it was like to be held captive by the obsession i had for the next drink. eventually i would succumb to the mania and get that 1st drink again. then the fuckin cravins would start. the mental preoccupation and infatuation would lead me to the compulsion to take the 2nd drink. i...
step 4s personal inventory was an attention-grabbin review into who and what i had become throughout my alcoholism. it was a stern, essential, and illuminatin stare into learnin how to turn a consciousness of what others had said & done to me, into a consciousness of what made me say & do the things i...
ive been able to learn the difference between gratitude and thankfulness in my recovery. its my understandin that gratitude is an action, thankfulness is an emotion. gratitude means that i show another the thankfulness im feelin within; it is a quality of bein thankful, a readiness to show appreciation for, and to return, kindness. it...
Hey, You Drunks … Do You Remember When?? We died of pneumonia in furnished rooms where they found us three days later when somebody complained about the smell. We died against bridge abutments and nobody knew if it was suicide and we probably didn't know either except in the sense that it was always suicide....
the paragraph quoted in this mornins daily reflection was what i came to believe defined the disease of alcoholism i now understand i have. it was instrumental as i broke it down to understand how each part mentioned were aspects of the disease which had affected me and those i interacted with. as i attempted...
as far back as i can remember, i always wanted to be a gangster! ha! just messin… throughout my childhood, into my teen years, and later into adulthood, i never felt like i was a part of anythin. i always wanted to be a part of somethin but could never find what could make me...
i remember wantin to feel accepted in many activities throughout my life. i always felt that i wasnt good enough for whatever thing i was attemptin to accomplish. i learned through the process of the 4th step that i had always tried to set expectations too high for myself. i learned that when i couldnt,...