Journaling today I stumbled upon something. A.A. isn’t what I thought it was. God also isn’t who I thought he was And it made me wonder how many other things all these years I’ve misjudged. How many things has my perception of reality isn’t equivalent with reality. My answer could be just about everything! This...

i recall how faith came harder for me. i know i may have had it as a young un, but i turned by back on God late in my teens, cause i thought i knew better. throughout my 20s & early 30s, faith had turned from me to whiskey, from whiskey to me, and back...

i had to surrender when i came in this last time. though it still took a little time to surrender, bits of surrender came as i continued to try. it took willingness to survive in a different way, a concept i was beginnin to become familiar with. it was strange, it was like it meant...

Well, my new nickname when I had one drink. Brian California … a rolling blackout. It wasn’t always like that. I did drink a lot before but didn’t go into such a deep dark hole of waking and drinking. I’m trying to think back when that started. I think it was the beginning of the...

i have tried to stay sober by myself, i could NOT do it. the only way i have been able to maintain my recovery up to this point is with the help of others in recovery. even as i may have support from friends and family outside of recovery, i still need to nurture and...

to be able to continue to be free. free from patterns of behavior that continued metal illness without me even knowin it. there was a time not so long ago that i didnt know if i would, or could, live through the next week. today i dont own that fear. with the freedom from the...

its been my experience that when i share what it was like, what happened, and what its like today, i get to become a little more liberated from my disease of alcoholism. idk what others have thought about my recovery process as ive grown and evolved through it, livin it as best as i can,...

i aint gonna try to tell anybody that when i think of the past i dont cringe or wish i wouldnt have done “that”, because i do. what makes the past different today from before my recovery, i can share some, if not all, the details with others. its what my sponsor did for me....

i can remember comin into recovery full of guilt. i had gone against the very things i had held others to but could not live up to myself. it had always been easy for me to explain away the wrong i did because i had built up a false sense of pride that could take...

the questions in this mornins daily reflections have answers that i could answer readily before my recovery began. bein full of self, not wantin to face the reality of my life, and wantin to hide anythin and everythin that could make me vulnerable or show my true fears within, would have me answerin each question...