gettin where i am today in my recovery did not happen overnight. it has taken me time to acquire the skill of the spiritual principles of recovery. i have had to practice and evolve how i use what ive learned throughout the steps. it started with crackin the door in my heart and mind open...

im the greatest liar when im tellin myself my storys. creatin narratives that exacerbate the false reality or delusion i want to pretend i have and live in. but thats not what recovery teaches me to do. now its quite fine when im out tryin to do my dirt and fulfill my self-righteous selfishness, but...

i have yet to become the perfect person. nor do i work the steps or live the program as rightly as others may think i should. i reckon what i can say is that im not drinkin today or gettin in the middle of everyone elses shit. and its been quite some time since i...

i needed the others in the rooms who had quality recovery to point out to me when i was tryin to bullshit myself and them. the old timers, as i learned later, werent bein mean assholes, they were bein honest with me because they cared and loved me and had been where i was at...

i could not quit drinkin, nor could i alone quit the obsessions i had about it. today i understand the power of such a statement. to admit total loss of power and self-control, to actually look at and understand the unmanageability that surrounded my ass in all directions, was somethin i could not do while...

this was most def where i was at, at one time, choiceless. the only thing i could do after as long a stretch as i could stand livin in my own skin, was take a drink for relief. i had lost the power to control my drinkin. sometimes i could go for very long stretches...

i remember the desperation and defeat i felt in the last days of doin my dirt. it appeared that there was no way out of the loneliness, self-pity, guilt, self-hate, and anger. the only thing that would take it away was another drink into someone i didnt want to be any longer. but it worked,...

when i start each day with spiritual readins, prayer, and meditation, surrenderin my will for His by askin Him to help me through my day, before i even leave my home, i get to go forth into my day with freedom and effectiveness. from my quiet time each mornin, God teaches me how to rest...

it is a blessin to not be able to forget the loneliness i once knew all too well. before the final days of my drinkin i thought bein a loner was a cool way to be. in time though, my alcoholism had driven all who wanted to be friends, and even family, away from me....

ive found that when in any given moment, when i turn it over to my HP, He intuitively provides me with the right emotion to psychologically think through it and then commit to a behavior that is in line with what i perceive He has spiritually provided. it is a practice of livin the spiritual...